LifeTuner

Money lessons tend to come at a price no matter what age you experience them. In the past week, two major news companies have covered financial lessons being learned and taught by parents and their adult children. (See "When the Fledglings Return to the Nest," NYT, and "Teaching Kids About Money the Hard Way," WSJ.)

One of the side effects of the current recession has likely been more young adult children moving back home. (We haven't seen actual numbers for recent stats, but do know that prior to the start of the current recession, 68 percent of AARP members said they were supporting an adult-age child.) Dubbed, the "boomerang" kids, those who move back in with mom and dad challenge their parents' ability to direct their financial lessons in a number of ways. For the parents, many questions arise: Do we take them in at all? Do we charge for room and board? How responsible do we make them? How do we teach them a few things? How much should we help versus staying hands off? What potential damage is being done by helping or not helping?

Moving back home isn't all that bad -- it can lead to the start of a solid savings account, which is essential to financial stability going forward. Sometimes, it can even offer a chance to improve credit history and budgeting skills, or pay off school loans.

But what about the parents? Are they jeopardizing their own financial well-being by taking in another person who may have been gone a few years already? Are they risking always being the fall-back guy and fueling irresponsible behavior?

There's no one-size-fits-all solution when it comes to teaching kids money lessons - or teaching ourselves for that matter. In fact, the WSJ article talks about how often it's important to just let kids make mistakes on their own. While there are definitely basics to know and follow, the reality seems to be that many times these basics are meaningless unless put in the context of our own lives. In other words, I know that I shouldn't pay my credit card bills late, but the real learning about the importance of this basic comes into play when I have to pay late fees out of my own pocket and learn how the late payment has negatively impacted my credit score, resulting in a higher-cost loan later in life. Better to make a mistake at a few hundred dollars now than one at potentially thousands later.

In the context of all of this, a lot of people will tell you they learned all they know about money from their parents. The blogger at MyLifeROI recently wrote a post, "The Three Most Influential Lessons From My Childhood," that examines a few of his/her own parent-led money lessons. (Note: The blogger's identity is unknown.)

Three things I learned from my parents were:

1. Money involves choices. We can afford X or Y but not both so it's time for you to choose.
   
   
2. Don't borrow more than you need. My parents were really good about explaining to me why I would not want to borrow too much in school loans - mainly by making it clear that I'd be paying this back all on my own, with no help from them. The help I received was on the front end: with rent, bills, books, supplies, trips home. So it was up to me to be responsible with the tuition loans. As I get closer to seeing my student loan balance reach zero, I couldn't be happier with this advice!
   
   
3. You don't need a lot of money to make it work. I came from a pretty modest background and also grew up in the 80s, when my parents seemed to perpetually be getting laid off or starting new jobs due to recession and cutbacks. Yet, there was never a time when we didn't have all that we needed and more. I chalk this up to the household budget discipline my parents were really good at maintaining.
   

 
What's a money lesson you learned from your parents that you'll never forget?